Build Trust By Meeting Needs (Raport)
You can’t ask for commitment before you have built an adequate level of trust in the relationship.
The only way you can build trust is by meeting needs.
Salespeople call this “building rapport”. If you have ever been in professional sales, you know this word.
Rainsalestraining.com defines rapport in this way: “In the sales world, building rapport means gaining a person’s trust by showing concern for their needs and communicating well.”
If salespeople the world over are trained to build rapport with their listeners before asking for a financial commitment, we should be building TONS of rapport before asking for an eternal commitment.
Report simply means that you build trust with the person you are speaking with by letting them know you REALLY care about their needs.
If you only pretend to care about the person you want to share the gospel with and then pop the “gotcha” question – they will sense your insincerity.
When you build trust with your counterpart, you have to ACTUALLY CARE about their life.
Here is the rule of thumb at the beginning of for the beginning of a gospel presentation.
If you’re talking, you’re doing it wrong.
You can take this to the bank every time.
Whether it’s in sales, negotiating a win-win opportunity, or sharing the Gospel – whoever is doing the most talking is in the position of strategic weakness.
Is this counterintuitive? Absolutely!
But Brett you ask, how do I share the Gospel if I’m not supposed to talk?
This is a great question and it is what we will cover in the next lesson.
In this lesson, you are going to open a conversation like a normal person.
Here is another rule of thumb to remember when you are opening a conversation:
If you feel awkward you’re doing it wrong
Don’t be weird
Now, I know that’s a bit harsh, but I have personally had Christians share the gospel with me, without asking enough questions to understand that I’m already a Christian. Additionally, the way they went about it made me (someone who is already a Christian) feel uncomfortable, awkward, and weird about Jesus. If a bad gospel presentation has this effect on me – it’s not wonder people don’t like talking about religion.
Here is how you open a gospel presentation.
Believer: “Hi, how are you today?”
Unbeliever: “Eh, not so good actually.”
Believer: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear about that. I don’t mean to pry but what’s going on?” (Hint: They said it’s not good because they NEED to feel cared for and understood)
Unbeliever: “Oh no, not at all. It’s just that my mother is in the hospital again and I have been missing work. It’s just been a stressful week.”
Believer: “Wow, that sounds really stressful. what is the reason your mom is in the hospital?” (Hint: Here, all you do is reflect the emotion so they know you understand their feelings. This is empathizing)
Unbeliever: “Well, she has been in and out of the hospital for a few months due to some pain and we just found out that she has stage 4 cancer.”
Believer: “Thanks for being so honest with your situation. That’s a much bigger deal than worrying about missing a few days of work. How are you processing all of that difficult news?”
Unbeliever: “I think I’m trying to avoid it. I don’t think she is going to be around this time next year and …”.
Okay, take a deep breath.
Firstly, you might be thinking that this conversion would never happen. I beg to differ. When you let people know that you are a safe person and are not judging them – they will dump things on you you can’t imagine.
People I have never talked to before in my life had brought up issues they are facing like military hazing, conflictions about faith from church abuse in childhood, issues with alcohol, and their religious beliefs such as Wiccanism, Satanism, Buddhism, Judaism, Mormonism, etc.
The only goal of the beginning of your conversation is to ask open questions about someone’s life and reflect their message and emotions back at them as they process the things that matter most to them.
In the next lesson, we will discuss how to tie in the gospel message.